A dream

Do you ever feel as if you are stuck in a dream?
an apparition of life that doesn't seem to move?
and you feel as if you could just scream,
just make one more impassioned shove,
you could break the very seams
that hold reality

the dream takes you life,
so full of passionate potential,
and cuts through it like a knife
making you stumble and fall
as you think that it would be nice
if you hadn't lived at all

but who cares?
the dream just isn't real
so let go,
and as you begin to feel
you'll know,
that all nightmares come to an end,
and fear is an emotion that is spent
until it has run dry

and fearlessness is all that resides
all that permeates your trapped mind,
and with fearlessness comes freedom
that is yet inexperienced,
and is the key to escaping the dream

Here's to falling out of myself...

I've been reading C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters and I have to say that the book is absolutely amazing. It has really made me think about what the meaning of Christianity really is. he makes a point in there that I find incredibly interesting. he says that to become closer to Christ, we must first let go of ourselves, but in becoming closer to Christ, we become more like ourselves than ever. this coupled with the fact that my friends just got back from the dregs of LA and have amazing stories about serving, I think that it is time to take up what I have known is the right path all along. I think it is time that I get down to the business of not only becoming closer to my God, but serving his people, and drawing my relationship with my girlfriend more in line with him. I love her so much, it is incredible, and I want nothing more than for us to have a Godly relationship so that we may raise each other up in his name. It is time to get back to my roots. And anyone reading this can think that this is a load of bogus, and that "God can't possibly be real" or at least "God doesn't care", but here is the cinch. If that is the case, why are you still reading? God is truly there, and he truly cares. there are feelings that are much more powerful than anything you can possibly see with your eyes, if you but open yourselves to their existence. seeing is believing, but not seeing and still believing is true faith. and faith in a God so great that he can create the universe is ground shaking. let go of yourself, and let him take over. I can guarantee that you will like the results. I have. I'll be praying for you world. I hold no prejudices, and no judgement, only hope and belief in a better, God-fearing world. Won't you join me in my dream?

Don't stop; if you stop, you're not really living.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing. what direction am I going in. I am so prone to wander from the path that I have set down for myself. I concern myself with games and people, and love, when I really have no business doing anything other than serve. I wander so often from my God, it is a wonder that I ever even think twice any more. but I do. I still have a conscience. it just seems... bleakly selective. like I'm a Christian when it feels good to me. and that is how it has always been. struggling a little bit before giving in to the world. and for a man that styles himself above the influences of this world, that is a bit frustrating. frustrating that I cannot make myself do the right thing. frustrating that out of all the people that know better, I'm the one who can't stay committed. And it is killing me. I wonder if it is even worth it, if I can still try hard enough to pull myself out. and then I remember that I can't. that I never will. because I am a man, and even the best men cannot change themselves alone. I need my God. I need something that I do not have the commitment to maintain. but this is going to change. it is as we speak. I will be a true man. I'm through with boyhood. it is time to step it up. pray for me, anyone who is reading this. it would be much appreciated.

Well...

Hello people of the world. heaven only knows who will be reading this and for what purpose. the point is I don't really care. this  blog is for my entertainment. Anyone who follows this will be subject to my creative whim, as well as my opinions and as many other things as I can think to post. Facebook isn't free enough. you know to many people on Facebook to really speak your mind. this is for speaking my mind, such as it is. So if you do end up enjoying my raving and ranting, it isn't my fault. I take absolutely no credit whatsoever for entertaining you or making you think, or whatever. this is for me. that being said, if you need advice, or want to talk, or are at all intriguing, I will definitely be interested in following you or helping you out in any way I can. Also, if you don't have anything nice to say, GTFO. I don't need any trolls or naysayers here. This is my house. you don't like it, go make your own damn blog.
Sincerely,
Nick Lunt